To know whether you and your potential partner are a perfect match, you just need to answer these five simple questions!
What’s your favourite film? Your partner might favour horror films while you prefer comedies, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find some common ground in adventure movies, for example. A favourite film, on the other hand, can say a lot about a person. A romantic epic might indicate a high maintenance partner, whereas a lads slapstick flick could tell you that your partner might still have some growing up to do.
What’s your ideal holiday? It might be wise to discover now that your partner prefers white water rafting or extreme snowboarding to lying for endless hours in the sun. Wide differences in preferences might make going away together tricky to organise, and will probably give some insight into how you might spend future evenings and weekends together, too. Your ideals don’t need to be an exact match, but there’s no point spending your whole life with someone who won’t participate in any of your leisure activities.
Do you have any bad habits? While this probably isn’t a good question for a first date, it can let you know in advance some secrets it might otherwise take years to uncover – providing you’re both honest, of course. Something as simple as smoking might be enough to deter you, or you might be able to adjust to nail biting. Some habits might require further analysis, for example, would you be happy to commit to a shopping addict with untold credit card debts?
If you could invite anyone, past or present, to dinner, who would it be? This is a great ice breaker question, and not considered to be too intrusive, but can still tell you a lot. For example, a choice of a deceased family member might indicate a sentimental side, whereas naming a glamour model would hint at other priorities. You might even out a closet Elvis fan!
What’s on your bucket list? A bucket list is a compilation of things you hope to do before you die. If your partner includes goals such as settling down and having a family, or moving to Alaska, you might have a clue where your relationship is heading. Bungee jump wannabes, marathon runner hopefuls and those who want to down a pint in three seconds all reveal much more about themselves than they realise.
Warning signs to look out for if you think your partner is cheating
There are no definitive rules, as such, to decide whether your partner is cheating or not. There are, however, indications that can highlight a change in a person or their feelings towards you. The art is to spot these signs, and consider what course of action you would want to take from there.
Computer and phone usage
If you have ever come across your partner, silently skulking in the corner, tapping away at the screen with relish, only to suddenly have nothing to type when you come over to see what is so interesting, doubts may enter your mind. More computer use than normal can lead you to query the sudden change and shift in pattern. Whilst you may think you have finally cornered him, beware! He may just simply be booking a romantic getaway for you both! Do not accuse lightly. Jealousy is unattractive and can lead to someone believing that you are actually the one who is cheating!
A new ‘friend’
New friends can be a recipe for disaster, if a relationship appears to be on its last legs. New people connecting, who feel like they have got a lot in common, can begin to have new and exciting feelings for each other. If your relationship has gotten a little stale, new friends can spice up an otherwise routine life. Beware the ‘new friend’ who suddenly spends a lot of time with your partner. It is your job to ensure they feel special. Don’t allow someone else to do that for you.
Suddenly they want privacy
Long term partners tend to share access to most things. Phone and computer access for example, passwords are usually universal, easily accessible to both. However, if you suddenly find that your access is restricted, you may want to question why. If there had been no need before, there shouldn’t be any need now. If you query this and are accused of being a snoop, you need to put some serious consideration into their possible justification for doing so. Of course, if they changed the password for security reasons and simply forgot to inform you, you may feel a little silly if you bellow accusations at a dinner party. A simple, polite question could have an innocent answer.
Whatever the course you decide to take, one thing is for certain. You must not charge like a bull in a china shop with accusations. If you have reasonable doubts regarding the commitment of your partner to your relationship, this can be discussed in a calm and rational manner. Do not accuse lightly and ensure you have evidence to back up your theories. You may feel a little like Sherlock Holmes in your information gathering, keep calm and present your case. It may be something you look back on and laugh.